Your Own Ending
by wee-me
Summary: There's more to Penny than anyone could imagine.


**Your Own Ending **

Authoress: Wee-Me

**DISCLAIMER: **I don't own "The Big Bang Theory" or any associated characters; if I did things would be a lot different, so sue me not. Any of the recognizable characters or quotes are not mine.

Begin

Her name is Penny, at least for now. Sometimes that's the only good part of this life, a name that tastes happy on her tongue. The name and the happiness are both lies, but nothing about her isn't.

There's no last or middle name to go with it. Just Penny. In fact, "Just Penny" could probably be her name. "Don't try to explain, it's just Penny, she won't get it." Or the popular, "She's mad about [insert dumb thing one of the guys has done], but it's just Penny, she'll get over it." No one notices that she doesn't have a last name. She doesn't let them. No one notices anything about her that she doesn't allow.

Her father is actually her father this time. Her mother too, though she's been too busy to visit. It's so rare that they get to be a family anymore. It's probably been forty years since that last time. She's only being Penny for now, limiting herself to this one life, but Dad's been side-lining as "Frank" and as a tutor in Arkansas. Her mother has barely been keeping up the façade of "Penny's mom"; too busy with her two other lives. She's a nun and a hit woman on two different continents. It's a wonder the neighbors back in Nebraska haven't caught on, but then again the family would have to let them.

"Penny" could be living a few lives of her own, but she wants to see this one through first. It won't be long until she picks up a new one; this one's already started to annoy her enough to spell its demise.

She loves to act. Not just the new lives she goes through like laundry, but actual acting. She lives to do the auditions and line readings and costumes. She did saloon plays in the old West, puppet shows in Victorian London, and a few silent films in the 1920s. She made "Penny" to get some of that old feeling back, see if she could still make it in the biz. Then she'd met the boys and the plan to storm Hollywood and "die" of an overdose changes to perpetual struggling actress makes nerd friends. The tragic early death is still a part of the plan. She refuses to be stuck in this role forever.

There isn't a name for what she or her parents or the others like her are. Immortal comes the closest, but they do much more than not die. They survive, adapt, and thrive, all without humanity even registering. No one questions the first names only or remembers their faces when they're gone. It's another gift. She could drop "Penny" and become a never ending procession of new girls without any of her friends ever knowing. It's some kind of magic maybe, but it's older than names. They just are. When she leaves the boys her pictures will all blur into a generic face and they'll see a face that isn't her in their minds. Even video and Sheldon's special mind won't be spared.

It would never even occur to one of her kind to tell a normal human the truth.

Penny is all bad choices, worse boyfriends, and inconsistencies slathered in cute blonde expectancies. She waffles wildly over scales of emotion, kindness, and intelligence without the boys noticing. Half because they're them she figures, but also because they think that's who she is. She can almost bring herself to feel bad about it.

She picked Leonard to dally with because he seemed the least offensive. Not because he was wonderful or she really wanted him, but it seemed like she ought to pick one of them and "Penny" would give him a shot. She knows about the stalking, but "Penny" would give him a chance where she wouldn't. She once cut off the head of an emperor that tried tricks like his to get her attention, but that wasn't Penny. She doesn't love him, not even this persona does, but he seems the least awful choice for now. He's as bad as any of her other boyfriends, but not any worse. Plus she's always liked the saying "when choosing between two evils, I'll choose the one I haven't tried yet". She hasn't dated anyone like him as Penny, might as well make things interesting.

She's been with all of her boys except Sheldon. They only know about Raj and Leonard, but she's spent the night with Howard as well. She'd taken on another life for a night to satisfy her curiosity. She'd decided she was nearly done being Penny anyway, might as well get all her urges out. This was before Bernadette. She shares that with her Penny, knowing that cheating isn't cool. While she liked Raj best, Penny likes Leonard. The nameless girl that she was was fine with Howard. She could have gone for the full set, but possibly causing Sheldon's nervous breakdown wasn't something she wanted.

"Penny's" acting skills might not be worth that much, but she is about to put in another award worthy performance- the tragic demise of a young actress. She sweetens the experience by landing a series of commercials, her best role yet, the week before. She's the face of an insurance company on a campaign set to go national. She pays back everything she owes and takes them all out to dinner. She hates to leave debt behind when she leaves a life. As Penny, she gives a short speech thanking them all for being so wonderful. Even with Sheldon's commentary about her wasting money and her fleeting success, it's a great night for "Penny".

Over the weekend she makes time for each of her friends- girls' night with Amy and Bernadette, game time with the guys, etc. When she's alone with each of them she thanks them again, a personalized thanks. With Bernadette it's easy with hugs all around. Howard half leers at her when she tells him how smart she thinks he is. Raj is sober when they talk, but conveys his thanks with his smile. Leonard she wishes well with an emphasis on friendship, it wouldn't do to get him wound up again. She's most worried about her two special cases anyway. Sheldon and Amy are so fragile in some ways. Her fondness for them escapes the boundaries of Penny and into her real self. It's almost like the children she's raised over the years.

She riles Sheldon up only to calm him down, one last time. She manages to sneak a hug in as well. He only allows it because of her joy at succeeding. She presents Amy with a friendship charm, a nice one that she might actually wear. She thanks her for working so hard at their friendship. Amy hugs her all awkward and sweet. The boys fake smiles when they show off their matching charms. She finalizes things with a club crawl with her other friends Sunday night. Penny is dead before Monday gets started.

At her funeral they say how like Penny it was to try and save the girl. How fitting her last act be one of heroism, going "junior rodeo" on a would-be rapist. The girl got away, the rapist caught, and poor Penny bled out from an unfortunate knife wound. Not exactly how she'd intended to end things, she'd thought a wreck maybe, but she's never cared for rapists. Not even when she lives on the other side of the law.

She attends the funeral as her own cousin, one that didn't exist the day before and won't again the day after. She's pleased with the turnout and how everyone's reacting. They're sad, but not destroyed. She's glad for it. Sheldon speaks for the boys, reading out four versions of "I'll miss you" from a stack of notecards. He uses all the public speaking tips she's ever given him. He compares her to all his nerdy heroes, even Spock, and it breaks her up a little. "I have been and always shall be your friend" has never hit her so hard.

She knows then that she'll be checking in on them, another set of "pet projects" to keep track of. She hasn't had any in nearly thirty years; it's usually her parents that get that attached. She speaks to them all before she leaves, thanks them for being so good to her cousin. She thanks Amy, Bernadette, and Sheldon especially for speaking.

Her mother and father gather her close once it's all over. Funerals may be a common part of their life, but it's always a little sad to leave it all behind. She leaves Nebraska and Penny behind the next morning.

A year later a grad student follows Sheldon home, like they do, to help him out and hang out. She lasts six weeks before courting too many strikes and scrubbing out of the program. She compliments Amy on her charm before she's cast out.

Then there's an elevator repair person, a webcomic artist at Comic Con, a temp in the Dean's office, a kindly ER nurse, and a slew of others over the next several years.

She's Howard and Bernadette's wedding planner.

She's Raj's interim therapist for his speech issue.

She works for Amy a while.

She's there when Sheldon gets his Nobel Prize. She watches him find a letter from Penny in his "when I get the award" bag. She helps him to an empty side room when it makes him emotional, or as emotional as he's likely to get. Every word is as fresh to her as if she'd just written it. "I knew you could do it Moonpie! This proves it, so you can't argue when I tell you when you win it. [heart] Penny" It's dated a few months before the death.

She sees them less often after that. A busy set of lives means a busy couple decades for her. There are kids, families, and distance when she checks next.

She watches them age over years of infrequent trips, greying and winding down in a way she's only ever played at. She attends the major events when she can, the awards and such, arranges happy surprises if she can't. Like anonymous flowers after Leonard divorces. She visits hospitals as they pass and attends funerals for each. Her heart hurts beyond what even Penny was capable of feeling when they're all gone. She doesn't visit their graves again, her memory is a more permanent monument than any stone could ever be.

She doesn't know exactly what she is or why she doesn't die. She doesn't know what comes after death or if any of the people she's loved in her lives can see where she is. Maybe they can understand if they do. All she knows is her life, one that was old before mammoths went extinct, and that the people she loved are more than the pets her people sometimes call them. She hopes they can see her and know that she loves them.

In case they can she hopes they enjoy her newest life. She's a tiny thing, voice a little squeaky, and nice as anything. Her name is Amber Hofwitz-Kooperali and she's accepting her Nobel Prize, the youngest winner to date. If the name and Bernadette's look don't get their attention, then at least Sheldon's ego should be dinged. She smiles as big as she can and keeps on moving.

End

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Uh, yeah. I'm only a casual viewer of the show, since I like the fanfic better, but there've been a few things that I itched to write about. The first is Penny not having a last name, 'cause it bugs me. The second is that they had Keith Carradine play her father (I didn't watch). He will forever be Frank from Criminal Minds to me. So this is what came from those two and my own weirdo brain. Thanks for reading, hope you liked it.

The title is a quote. I couldn't think of anything so I just hit google until I found something. I don't own it or the Spock quote. "Life's like a movie, write your own ending. Keep believing, keep pretending."  
><strong>Jim Henson <strong>

Part of my 2011 13 Posts/Days of Halloween.


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